Sunburned

(March 2022. Rincon, Puerto Rico, the day after surfing and snorkeling for the first time.)

Sunburned

Oh how exposed
The life of this skin
Slapped salmonlike stripping scales singed
And small like the trenches of Somme.

I slept in breeze and thin linen
White and still desire purity.

Have you ever had a Saturday
That made everything more than worth it?
I did⁠— I woke early slept late
And in between seared in sun
I learned to surf with Sam.

I am sore, torn, scraped, burned⁠—
My largest organ in tatters,
Strong and suffering. In my pink
Pain I am raw like a child,
Red and reborn.

I will know every touch of the world.

My sensitivity is baptismal.

The deal with feeling is that you must suffer⁠—
But to be real is the capacity of healing.

To have lived so muchly
To have stood upon such waves
I would say cheers to the demon
Whispering eternal recurrence.

Yesterday I spent so much energy,
Lost so much life force, but
Of course that’s what Sundays are for.

To lose life is to live,
And recovery is a form of inheritance
From our many urgent deaths.
Today this red skin will stretch
Around my growing, gentle breaths.

I will love my beaten body with cool water,
And be grateful to be living so densely,
Aging so quickly,
And dying as much as I can
This weekend.